Moment of truth - inspired by vin rouge

Vicoforte - Valloire As I sat at dinner tonight drinking some vin rouge, I caught myself thinking: I have nothing left to prove.

I’ve put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to have this remarkable last ride before returning to Toronto. It got me thinking how we each set benchmark’s for ourselves from a very early age and spend a lifetime trying to live up to these expectations (we create) which may or may not be realistic or attainable.

Funny how one single ride can define (and determine) the success, enjoyment and fulfillment of a whole vacation... In this moment, this is the stark reality.

As I sit here staring at this screen with my bike in the background I can’t help but think; it’s really not about the bike. Maybe it’s not about winning or losing. Maybe it really is about “how” you play the game. When I see these 50 and 60 year old men riding up these Col’s, I can’t help but think, they’re playing the game the way it’s meant to be played.

Admittedly, Its tough when you have a fire inside that ignites a ‘win’ only mentality. I’m seeing that ‘winning’ can take on different variations and in this fleeting moment, I’m counting my ‘wins’. Coming on this trip was a win; tasting amazing wine and eating food to die for was a win. Seeing the Tour de France on Alpe d’Huez, meeting new people, not having a ‘plan’; all wins.

Tomorrow when I get on my bike with the fancy new outfit I’ve been saving for Galibier, I’ll decide how I want to plan my ride and if/how I want to try to measure up to the past (or set a new benchmark) or simply be content watching others ride by as I drink my Kronenbourg on the sidelines. Most importantly, I’ll remove a multitude of (self) pressure, knowing that this trip has already been a tremendous success. Regardless of whether or not I can ride up these mountains, what my time might be or how I’m perceived on my polka dot bike; I’ve seen, tasted, smelled, touched and heard beauty in France and Italy.

Either the red wine is exceptionally strong tonight or I’m philosophizing way too much.

When the morning comes, a mountain awaits: Col du Galibier.